I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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