I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
