I think i sorta joined a cult last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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