so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
