like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
