I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we made out on top of his cat.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
