hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
