Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
