So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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