Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
