i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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