I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
