that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
