I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
