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• (602): View more from Arizona

  where are you

  (303): View more from Colorado

  in your bedroom

  (602): View more from Arizona

  how did you get in

  (303): View more from Colorado

  your wife…

  (602): View more from Arizona

  WTF

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey kate, how is it?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  if you ask that question again our friendship is over

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.

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• (916): View more from California

  do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Bring gay.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.

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• (562): View more from California

  Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Dude I had my dad cock block me once

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