I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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