i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
