I want to make a zoo with you.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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