It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
