I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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