i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Umm I'm too high to move.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Jerry, you need to find god
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
