She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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