I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
