Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His hands were made for my vagina.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
