I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Randomize
