Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
