Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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