It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
