Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
