he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize