And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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