You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
