I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
