yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
