My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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