The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
