she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize