I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
