Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize