; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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