Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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