I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize