she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
