i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
