just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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