I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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