Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you have to choose: penises or morals?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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