can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
