clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Help. Why am I so naked?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
