I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
