is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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