I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
