hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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