And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize