I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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