Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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