U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
