"it" just moved
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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