There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
