How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
