she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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