your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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