Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
