wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
