To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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