1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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