Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
