It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
