did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize