:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
