Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
