Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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