am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
