no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You were trust falling into bushes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
