Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
