i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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