in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
