I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
